The Cost of Unresolved Grief

December 6, 2019 | Grief, Isolation, Long-term Care

The Impact of grief on Society:  While death is a normal part of life, our society doesn’t do well with the complications of grief that follow the death of a close loved-one.  People often feel alone and unable to move forward in their lives, depending on factors such as the closeness of the relationship, the type of death, their own personality, and the level of life changes required after a death (such as having to move).  Children and teens are especially vulnerable, since a family is often in turmoil after a death.  Grief is not a billable diagnosis, yet unresolved grief is implicated as a factor in many behavioral and physical diagnoses, such as depression and recurring illness.  We have found, over the years that when people get grief support, many of the socio-economic costs of unresolved grief can be avoided. 

This is why we started the Solace Tree to help children, teens, and adults find ways to cope with their grief.  Each school year, The Solace Tree helps about 300 children (ages 3 to 12), 200 teens and 100 adults. The Solace Tree also offers grief support in the schools and helps about 150 kids and 50 teens in our Good Grief Program.  We also provide phone support, workshops, training and education, a running program, resources and referrals.  Our grief program(s) support children, teens, and adults. It’s through sharing of stories, connecting with others, listening, and learning tools/techniques for healthy grieving that people are able to heal and embrace life again.  Research,1 and our experience show that group support intervention for both children parents/guardians, as well as education to the parents and other adults in kids’ lives, can lead to health grieving and avoid the costs of unresolved grief as children grow to adulthood.  Adults find that they are better able to adjust to a new and different life after attending our groups. 

The Cost of Unresolved Grief:  The loss of a loved one, sadness, anger, guilt, regret, numbness, lack of control, sleep deprivation, fatigue, memory difficulties, and disconnection from others-take a toll on the griever.  Time may not always heal deep grief; group support and tools for healthy grieving can help alleviate these burdens that may otherwise turn into costs to our healthcare system, self-destruction, and destruction onto others.  Specifically, unresolved grief can lead to:

  • Depression-Many studies document the link between bereavement and depression/anxiety in adults and the need for treatment, especially when PTSD is diagnosed.  Links have also been made for bereaved teens and depression, as well as long-term mental health problems for children after the death of a parent.2
  • Cardiovascular risk– Heart break can quite literally lead to cardiovascular and immune systems weakness, as several studies show.3
  • Complicated grief– The Center for Complicated Grief (www.complicatedgrief.org) defines this as: “a form of grief that takes hold of a person’s mind and won’t let go.  People with complicated grief often say that they feel ‘stuck’.  Factors affecting grief that doesn’t subside include personal characteristics of the bereaved, the type of death, other challenging factors in that person’s life, and the relationship to the person who died.  Often these people need professional intervention.
  • Substance abuse treatment- Youth and adults may turn to alcohol and drugs to mask the pain.  Often these behaviors mask the underlying grief cause.Adults also turn to numbing substances when the pain is intense.  People call The Solace Tree while in treatment because the emotions come back up once they are clean and sober.
  • Recurring illness and increased healthcare costs- Studies in the UK have shown a 30% increase in childhood visits to the doctor after a death, and also lament the lack of grief support services.5
  • Decreased workplace productivity- The Grief Recovery Institute estimated the annual cost of workplace grief at $75 billion.Included in this figure is death of a lovedone ($37.5 billion) and pet loss ($2.4 billion
  • Longer-term unemployment- Links have been made in the research between the death of a parent and long-term unemployment.7
  • Childhood bereavement challenges- One study showed that 1 in 7 children will lose a parent or sibling before the age of 20.8 children are more likely to have behavioral problems, abuse alcohol and drugs, experience anxiety, act out, have social challenges, struggle in school, and/or experience recurring illness and behavioral health challenges.9
  • Teen pregnancy- Especially with sudden and traumatic death, bereaved teens are more likely to get pregnant.10
  • Developmental challenges in children and teens- Research has found that when a parent has died, especially from a sudden death, adolescents have lower competence in work, peer relations, career planning, and educational aspirations.  So-called maladaptive grief in kids can impact social and academic development.11
  • Marital strife- Especially with the death of a child, married couples each grieve differently and this often causes challenges in their relationship which could lead to counseling costs and sometimes divorce.12
  • Financial decline- Several studies point to loss of financial stability after a death, especially from the loss of a spouse or child.13
  • The stigma of a suicide death- Grief is more likely to become complicated because of the guilt, stigma, shame, and feelings of rejection by those left behind.14
  • Mortality- Studies looking at early mortality, including from suicide, suggest a higher risk for the bereaved, especially for certain types of loss, such as the death of a child or spouse.15
  • Impact on caregiversStudies have pointed to the impact on health care providers in a professional setting with both emotional and economic cost impacts.16

By Emilio Parga, M.Ed.

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